Friday, May 18, 2012

GOD'S RAINBOW



Above is MadisonWoods FridayFictioneeers...Gorgeous Photo Prompt titled: Rainbows (5/18/12).


Below is my 100-word short story inspired by the above photo.




                              *** GOD'S RAINBOW ***


I was back in the big city when a midnight call came from the ER.


"Your mother was brought in tonight. She is in a coma with extremely, weak vital signs."


"Amtrak can get me there by 9am. Please keep her alive until I get there. Can you do it? Please. Please. I beg of you."


"I will do my best. Hurry."


I sat with her for eight days, praying and weeping, as she lay there. She came out of it once, squeezed my hand and whispered, "Remember what I told you. When God sees you cry, He sends you a rainbow."


Today, He sent me two.
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24 comments:

  1. C.C. May 18, 2012 at 11:38 PM

    Oh gosh. :'( So sad.

    Lovely story even if you almost had me crying. Nice job.

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 19, 2012 at 6:59 PM

      Hi CC: I understand. I shed a few myself while writing it. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  2. Sandra CrookMay 19, 2012 at 3:01 AM

    A sad one this. Nice work.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/pursuit-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 19, 2012 at 7:00 PM

      Hi Sandra. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  3. Douglas MacIlroyMay 19, 2012 at 3:54 AM

    Dear Lora,

    Your story was an understated gem of a tale. Subtle and sad, yet also uplifting and somehow reassuring. I thought you did a marvelous job with the prompt.

    Thanks for commenting on mine earlier. The link I'm leaving is for any stragglers leaving the ER.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/no-rain-no-rainbows-3/

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 19, 2012 at 7:02 PM

      Hi Doug: Thank you for your positive, uplifting comments.
      Aloha, Lora

      Delete
  4. Reading PleasureMay 19, 2012 at 6:31 AM

    Ow, so touching and well told. I could almost feel her squeeze, you know. Thank you for coming over.

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 19, 2012 at 7:03 PM

      Hi Reading Pleasure: Thank you for your touching comments.

      Delete
  5. AnonymousMay 19, 2012 at 10:51 AM

    Hi Lora,
    This story seems so real and I think many of us can relate and I know I do. Great succinct ending. Thanks for reading and commenting on mine.

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 19, 2012 at 7:06 PM

      Hi Bridges: Pleased to know you feel the story seems real and can relate. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  6. BlueFuryMay 19, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    A very emotional story. Conjures sad memories of my own.
    Nicely written.

    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/fridayfictioneers-rainbow-memorial/

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 19, 2012 at 7:09 PM

      Hi BlueFury: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to conjure sad memories of your own. However, I have a feeling it may touch others as well..perhaps in different ways. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  7. AnonymousMay 19, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Oh how sad... this nearly got me crying also. Rainbows evoke so many feelings and memories and it has shown in all the stories I've read but this one more than most. Weirdly this is a route I nearly went down but ended up turning it into a zombie story. Really great job :D

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 19, 2012 at 7:11 PM

      Hi Freejournowriter: I have to admit, I shed a few myself while writing it. I am also amazed by the different stories this "rainbow' prompt is evoking. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  8. AnonymousMay 20, 2012 at 4:02 PM

    Oh dear, now I need the tissues. Very brief, very true and, yup, it's kleenex time. Thank you for visiting earlier,

    Kathy
    http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/after/

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 21, 2012 at 10:29 PM

      Hi Kathy: I understand. I used a few tissues myself while writing it. Thank you for visiting.

      Delete
  9. J.C. SimpsonMay 20, 2012 at 11:18 PM

    Got a little dusty in here. I really liked this. Simple, but powerful.

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 21, 2012 at 10:31 PM

      By dusty, do you you mean teary? Thank you for your comments.

      Delete
  10. RussellMay 21, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    I would call this a bittersweet ending. A very well crafted story that almost everyone could relate to (the comments verify that). It made me think of my own dear sweet Mom.

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 21, 2012 at 10:34 PM

      Dear Russell: Pleased to hear from you. Thank you for your usual, touching comments. My love and prayers for your dear sweet Mom.

      Delete
  11. AnonymousMay 21, 2012 at 6:44 PM

    Trying to leave a response again - last time it didn't go through! I did have to dig for the kleenex on this one and I think even not having had a similar experience I still would have. But the amazing thing is it's sad but in a clean, healthy way. There is a catharsis in this piece, however short.

    Kathy

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    Replies
    1. LoraMay 21, 2012 at 10:49 PM

      Hi Kathy: Your 'catharsis' line is intuitive and close to the truth. I must admit...it took a certain amount of courage to write it. Thank you for making the effort to post a 2nd time.

      Delete
  12. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsMay 26, 2012 at 6:18 AM

    Lora, I don't know how I missed this beautiful story last week! Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Bittersweet and poignant. I've been there, done that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsMay 26, 2012 at 6:20 AM

    Hi Lora. I don't know how I missed this one last week. Beautifully told, poignant. Thanks for bringing it to my attention that I hadn't commented.

    ReplyDelete

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