Friday, May 18, 2012
GOD'S RAINBOW
Above is MadisonWoods FridayFictioneeers...Gorgeous Photo Prompt titled: Rainbows (5/18/12).
Below is my 100-word short story inspired by the above photo.
*** GOD'S RAINBOW ***
I was back in the big city when a midnight call came from the ER.
"Your mother was brought in tonight. She is in a coma with extremely, weak vital signs."
"Amtrak can get me there by 9am. Please keep her alive until I get there. Can you do it? Please. Please. I beg of you."
"I will do my best. Hurry."
I sat with her for eight days, praying and weeping, as she lay there. She came out of it once, squeezed my hand and whispered, "Remember what I told you. When God sees you cry, He sends you a rainbow."
Today, He sent me two.
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Oh gosh. :'( So sad.
ReplyDeleteLovely story even if you almost had me crying. Nice job.
Hi CC: I understand. I shed a few myself while writing it. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteA sad one this. Nice work.
ReplyDeletehttp://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/pursuit-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/
Hi Sandra. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteDear Lora,
ReplyDeleteYour story was an understated gem of a tale. Subtle and sad, yet also uplifting and somehow reassuring. I thought you did a marvelous job with the prompt.
Thanks for commenting on mine earlier. The link I'm leaving is for any stragglers leaving the ER.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/no-rain-no-rainbows-3/
Hi Doug: Thank you for your positive, uplifting comments.
DeleteAloha, Lora
Ow, so touching and well told. I could almost feel her squeeze, you know. Thank you for coming over.
ReplyDeleteHi Reading Pleasure: Thank you for your touching comments.
DeleteHi Lora,
ReplyDeleteThis story seems so real and I think many of us can relate and I know I do. Great succinct ending. Thanks for reading and commenting on mine.
Hi Bridges: Pleased to know you feel the story seems real and can relate. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteA very emotional story. Conjures sad memories of my own.
ReplyDeleteNicely written.
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/fridayfictioneers-rainbow-memorial/
Hi BlueFury: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to conjure sad memories of your own. However, I have a feeling it may touch others as well..perhaps in different ways. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteOh how sad... this nearly got me crying also. Rainbows evoke so many feelings and memories and it has shown in all the stories I've read but this one more than most. Weirdly this is a route I nearly went down but ended up turning it into a zombie story. Really great job :D
ReplyDeleteHi Freejournowriter: I have to admit, I shed a few myself while writing it. I am also amazed by the different stories this "rainbow' prompt is evoking. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteOh dear, now I need the tissues. Very brief, very true and, yup, it's kleenex time. Thank you for visiting earlier,
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/after/
Hi Kathy: I understand. I used a few tissues myself while writing it. Thank you for visiting.
DeleteGot a little dusty in here. I really liked this. Simple, but powerful.
ReplyDeleteBy dusty, do you you mean teary? Thank you for your comments.
DeleteI would call this a bittersweet ending. A very well crafted story that almost everyone could relate to (the comments verify that). It made me think of my own dear sweet Mom.
ReplyDeleteDear Russell: Pleased to hear from you. Thank you for your usual, touching comments. My love and prayers for your dear sweet Mom.
DeleteTrying to leave a response again - last time it didn't go through! I did have to dig for the kleenex on this one and I think even not having had a similar experience I still would have. But the amazing thing is it's sad but in a clean, healthy way. There is a catharsis in this piece, however short.
ReplyDeleteKathy
Hi Kathy: Your 'catharsis' line is intuitive and close to the truth. I must admit...it took a certain amount of courage to write it. Thank you for making the effort to post a 2nd time.
DeleteLora, I don't know how I missed this beautiful story last week! Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Bittersweet and poignant. I've been there, done that.
ReplyDeleteHi Lora. I don't know how I missed this one last week. Beautifully told, poignant. Thanks for bringing it to my attention that I hadn't commented.
ReplyDelete