Friday, April 20, 2012

TEARDROPS


Above is Madison Woods #FridayFictioneers Photo Prompt - 4/20/12.

Below is my 100-Word Short Story inspired by Madison's photo

                                
                                   *** TEARDROPS ***

Ms. Chicken Valley Queen, wearing her mom's treasured rhinestone teardrop earrings, glows in a gown of yellow feathers, while live chickens peck at her feet. A festive annual parade until the joyful day is interrupted by an unexpected squall. Wind and rain rips through their path. Her throne collapses, spooked chickens jump off the float, feathers fly up her nose. Fierce sneezing loosens one earring; forever lost in the chaos. The ruined day ends in a bucket of teardrops.

Years later, heading back to Chicken Valley, nestled safely in a blue, satin-lined Tiffany gift box, an exact copy of mom's teardrop earrings...not rhinestones, but dazzling diamonds. 

Happy birthday, mom.


54 comments:

  1. What a funny story, yet with a sentimental end. Not something I expected from the picture, but good nonetheless.

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    1. Hello my 22 yr. old LittleWonder. Thank you for visiting and commenting. It's kind of fun jumping the gun early. Hope Madison doesn't mind.

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  2. Very unique take on the prompt. I wish I had those earrings! They are beautiful!! :)
    Thanks for sharing this! :)

    Parul
    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/layla/

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    1. Hi Parul: Thank you for visiting and sharing. Wish I had those Tiffany earrings as well. I had many comical lines, but had to cut them. Enjoy your weekend.

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  3. Can feel the scene, from the pecking of toes to the feathers up the nose. Nicely done.

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    1. Hi ... Thanks for visiting. I like your rhyme...toes...nose. Made me chuckle.

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  4. I had to laugh at the image created of a Chicken Valley Queen decked out in yellow feathers............. Your play on words adds literary flavour to a piece that flows like a poem. Good story.

    Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-diamond-tear-drops/

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  5. Hi Reading Pleasure: Thank you for your comments. I've been waiting for a few weeks for the right ph. prompt to do something light and witty. Will visit you soon.

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  6. Cute and sweet. You drew the picture perfectly.
    Here is mine: http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/flash-fiction-friday/

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  7. For one who works in "Chicken Town," this hit pretty close to home. I loved the ending--a return to Chickendale. The bucket of tears was a nice touch too.

    here's mine http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hi Russell: I thought about you while writing this...hoping to be as witty. Didn't know you lived in "Chicken Town"... Will be getting to yours shortly.

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  8. Wonderful imagery and a real unexpected ending. Well-done.

    Here's mine
    http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/flash-fiction-story-2-for-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction

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  9. What a lovely ending. Returning to the scene, only to thumb it's nose so to speak. Great share. Here's mine http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/04/friday-flash-fiction-goo.html

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  10. Hi Atiya: Thank you for commenting...however, she was not returning to "thumb her nose...she went back for two reasons: First...to replace the lost treasured earring but this time, not in rhinestones but in diamonds, which she could now afford. Second...to see her mom's surprised and happy face when she opened the Tiffany box.

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  11. I'm hoping that she's now shedding teardrops... of joy. I like reading happy endings. This is from a future Brother, Allen. :)

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  12. Funny and very odd, the first part is the picture of chaos. The sentimentality of the second part feels like it needs more story though, as I was left wondering why she returned.
    I hope I'm not offending by trying to give that feedback - maybe I'm just missing something!

    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-death-and-life/

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    1. Gary...the answer is in the above reply to Atiya. Further explanation below.

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  13. I like the down to earth feel of your story. It reminds me of being back at the County Fair (where I used to show chickens!). We had Rodeo Queens instead of Chicken Queens but I can completely envision this scene.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I suppose if I had grown up in your area (Texas is it??) I would have made her a Rodeo Queen, but then she would have gotten horse hairs up her nose instead of chicken feathers. lol Again, I loved your wonderful poetic piece.

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  14. It seems everyone else got it but you, Gary. I would have added more but we are bound by 100 words. Here's an explanation: If she was once Ms. Chicken Valley Queen, then it's obvious Chicken Valley is/was her hometown. Eventually, she grew up and moved away, but her mom still lives there. She's returning to visit her mom and surprise her with an exact copy of the teardrop earrings that got lost during the parade chaos. However, instead of rhinestones these are "dazzling diamonds." Needless to say, it took her a few years to afford the diamonds.

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  15. Laura, I had to read through it twice, but I got it. I think you wove a very complete story in very few words. I liked how you made the triumphant return.

    Mine, late as it is, is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/flash-friday-fiction-8/

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    1. Hi Erin: Thank you for your lovely comments. It's taking me a while to get through all the stories. The list gets longer each wk. Will get to yours soon.

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  16. This was lovely. Such an unusual take on the theme but it worked really well. I got quite sniffy ... but maybe that was the chicken feathers. Well done Lora.

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    1. Hi Sandra: So you know how she felt when the chicken feathers went up her nose. lol. When Madison posted the photo, instead of water drops, I saw an old pr. of rhinestone teardrop earrings I used to own and...Voila...there was my story. Visited yours a little while ago and left a comment. I love your writing.

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  17. What a wonderful take on the photo...it was a whimsical story with a happy ending...very cool

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  18. Cute and a very unique take on the picture. I love that about your story. Good job.

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  19. Cool story. I have to admit that I had to read it twice (possibly due to my coffee deficiency) to fully appreciate it. Once I did, however, the story totally clicked.
    Great description of a situation gone horribly wrong (chicken chaos!) and the relief the character finds at the end. Well written, too. Thanks for sharing!

    http://the-drabbler.com/splat/#comment-231

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  20. Awwww! I love that ending! Great story!

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  21. Fun and sweet! I guess she had a replica of her mother's earrings made from diamonds?

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  22. Hi Sonia: You guessed correctly... an exact copy, not in rhinestones but diamonds.

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  23. Dear Lora,

    What an imaginative departure from the many fairies, sprites and water critters this prompt has conjured up. I loved it. Soulful, happy though wet, loving and brought full turn by the fullness of time. Very cool story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/the-endless-sea/

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  24. Aloha Doug: Thank you for your insight. I try to find that one thing that will inspire me to be a little different from the obvious. I immediately saw a pr. of old, rhinestone earrings in the water drops and there was my story.

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  25. Now Lora, you should know that I have a weakness for everything chicken! That was great - funny and sentimental. I can see this being expanded into a comical scene in a larger story. All the elements are there. However, I thought you expressed yourself clearly, so I don't know why some who commented were confused. The experts say a really great flash fiction piece makes you read it twice, so let's go with that!

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    1. Hi Karen: Yes, from your FB postings, I gather you do love chickens. Thanks for stopping by.

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  26. That was a unique spin and I can easily see where you got the idea for the rhinestones or diamonds from the water droplets. Gave me a good chuckle with the live chickens pecking at her feet!

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    1. Hi Madison: Thanks for stopping by. Happy enjoyed those pecking chickens. What ph. prompt do you have up your sleeve for next wk?

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  27. This was a totally original take on the prompt. Well done.

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  28. Very sweet story... Buckets of Teardrops caused me chills, and I loved the ending. That baby blue box... nothing but the best for mom. A lot packed into these 100 words, and an interesting take on the prompt.

    http://tedstrutz.com/2012/04/20/flash-friday-fictioneers-drip-drop-drip/

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  29. Thank you for your lovely comments, Ted.

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  30. Touching story and an example of how a day of chaos can be directly related to a day of wonder and joy.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog to read and comment on my story. =)

    www.swthink.blogspot.com

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  31. Hi Brooke: Thank you for stopping by and commenting. As they say, "Don't fool with Mother Nature."

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  32. What an imaginative take on the photo prompt! Chicken queen...good stuff!

    ~Susan

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  33. Hi Susan: Thanks for stopping by with your lovely comments.

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  34. I never would have thought of teardrop earrings from looking at the picture. Nice job with this one, Lora. It was funny and sentimental and left me with a nice feeling. I also loved the feathers up the nose! Is there really such a thing as a Chicken Valley Queen?

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  35. Hi Michael: When I look at Madison's ph. prompts, I try to find what is not so obvious. Your final question made me chuckle. Every small town finds a reason to crown some kind of queen (no pun intended..well, on second thought..lol). Maybe next time, I'll write about a Fishbowl Queen. LOL.

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  36. Cute, cute, cute--loved it! Sorry I'm late--got distracted last week so I'm doing double-duty this week. :-) Delightful stoy.

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  37. Glad you made it. Hope your double-duty chores of writing and submitting was a sense of accomplishment .. Good luck with it all. Tks for visiting.

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