Wednesday, February 29, 2012

JEWELS 3/2/12



***JEWELS***





Above is Madison Woods Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction Photo Prompt titled: Jewels.  Thanks, Madison. 


Below is my 100-word story based on the above prompt.




                           
                        GRANDFATHER'S JEWELS


Stolen from grandfather's vault containing precious valuables, only a pitiful amount of jewels turned up. They arrived via an unknown source, in battered, brown, envelopes stamped with out-dated Air-Mail markings.  The return address in Mexico was a burned-out empty lot strewn with garbage and broken liquor bottles.


After years of frustrating dead-ends, the private detective had his first lead. A baby's pink, hard-plastic teething ring packed among the jewelry. Oversight or tip?




***




See Comments below:

















40 comments:

  1. Great take on the prompt. I can tell you enjoy writing mysteries and crime scenes.

    Again this week, I'll have to pass. Too much going on. Hopefully, I'll get back on track next Friday.

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    1. For some reason, I see mysteries and crime scenes in Madison's ph. prompts. Hurry back. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

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  2. Very interesting. I liked how you dealt with this prompt.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by CC.

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  3. now here's a mystery! Nicely done!

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  4. That's a brilliant example of lateral thinking ... a baby's teething ring. Good work.

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    1. Hi Sandra - My eye focused on the round pink gem. Never saw a round gem like that before but I have seen a baby's teething ring...and there was my story.

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  5. Does this tie into your last piece, like an ongoing case? It certainly feels that way.

    There's a great mystery here and I hope to be present when the clues unravel.

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    1. Now aren't you clever. No, it never entered my mind, but now that you've mentioned it. Hmmm. Stay tuned...

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  7. Yes! I think BlueFury has hit on something with that question -- I would love to see this week's and last week's connected. You definitely write with the feel of a mystery unfolding smoothly. Lovely!

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    1. Hi Lime: Thank you ...Stay tuned...

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  8. This is the first one I've read that tied in the brown envelopes in the background. I like that. My guess is the teething ring is an oversite, but I guess we'll have to stay tuned for the next episode . . .

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    1. Hi Russell: Tks for stopping by. My next episode depends on Madison's next ph. prompt, so stay tuned.

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  9. That was an interesting twist that opened the story up to all kinds of possibility, Lora. You could write a whole book around this one and it makes a great opening scene.

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    1. Hi Madison: A great opening scene huh? Tks for the tip. Looking forward to your next ph. prompt.

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  10. Great mystery and suspense here, Lora. I definitely want to find out what happened. And I'm impressed by your view of the pink gem - makes things so much more interesting!

    Tiny concrit - I think the tense changes in the second paragraph. You started in the past tense and then switch to present. That didn't feel comfortable to me; although I can see an argument for it, it just didn't quite work as it stood.

    Thanks for your kind comment on mine. Your could almost be the flip side - I hope your detective doesn't catch Robin and co!

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    1. Hi Elmo: My next episode depends on Madison's next prompt. Tks for the tiny concrit and catching my boo-boo. Changed it to past tense.

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  11. I thought the same way as BlueFury, that these were tied into the last mystery. And I think it is brilliant! Well done!

    My link this week is: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/a-shared-life/

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    1. Tks Quill. Stay tuned for the next episode. I believe I left you a comment last night.

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  12. Dear Lora,

    Finding the grain of sand that was the seed for your story in the details of that frustrating photo prompt was excellent. The pearl that grew from there was lustrous. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  13. Dear Doug: Your beautiful comment is so poetic it made my heart soar. So proud of it, I tweeted it on Twitter and posted it on my Facebook page. Hope you don't mind. I will give you credit by adding: by Aloha Doug

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  14. Wow! That's some mystery!
    Love the way you talk about leads and dead ends. Like the address in Mexico.
    And then little hunch you end the story opens avenues of new discoveries! Very well done!

    Here's mine -
    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/the-real-thing/

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  15. Hi Parul: I'm so behind with so many wonderful stories. Thank you for your lovely comments. You're the first to mention the dead end address in Mexico. On my way to read yours.

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  16. Very mysterious. I like the south of the border intrigue element. Well done. :)

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    1. Hi J. Whitworth: Thanks for commenting. I originally had 2 other locations but settled on Mexico.

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  17. Hey, your baby teething ring was my wedding ring! Cheap in either case. Your stories read like police procedural novels – that's a compliment! – which sets up the plot/mystery aspect very nicely. Intriguing, plot-wise, like it's going to be a mystery like a 40s film noir.

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    1. Carlos: You mean your wedding ring was pink? lol.
      A 40s film noir...Wow...I could not ask for a better compliment since my background was acting/film work. I do these 100-word sh. stories as wr. exercises. I fit these in betw. my most time-consuming wr. project which is a musical based on two famous Broadway composers.

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  18. Lora, I'm a sucker for a good mystery and I LOVED what you did with this. I REALLY, Really, really want MORE!! Nice job!

    You've already commented on my site--thanks, it's appreciated!

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    1. Hi Palooski65: My goodness. Your wonderful comments set my heart afloat. You say I've already commented on your site? I'm still trying to figure out who you are and what name or blog you post under. I'm in the dark. How about a clue?

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  19. Wow. What a great take on the prompt. so many possibilities. You've got me hooked.

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    1. Hi Janet: Tks for commenting. I'd like you to stay hooked. It depends on what Madison's comes up with next. Stay tuned.

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    2. Oops... correction. Meant to write: It depends on what Madison comes up with next. But I'm sure you knew that was a typo.

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  20. Like where you went at the end... made me want to keep reading. Lots going on in this photo, I like what you did with the envelopes. Lots of crime stories... mine is a real one...

    http://tedeley.wordpress.com/2012/03/04/friday-fictioneers-1-semi-precious-gememoirs/

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  21. Hi Ted: Thanks for stopping by. Your comments are appreciated. On my way to read your "true crime story" now.

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  22. Intriguing. The returned jewels may well have been intended as a clue. Or perhaps bait, if you're paranoid. It's the inclusion of the teething ring that's curious, though. I'm assuming that wasn't part of the grandfather's collection. It reads to me like someone sending a message...

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  23. Hi Jake: Tks. for stopping by. How astute of you.
    Remember the last line... Oversight or tip?

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  24. This is right up my street and I seriously enjoyed it. A wonderful mystery set up that could end up being something along the lines of The Maltese Falcon or similar. Very noir. And very cool. You have a great writing voice. Well done :-)

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  25. Hi Andy: Wow, fascinating comments. Thank you for the lovely compliments.

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