Thanks to Madison Woods for the inspiration for this week's story based on the above photo prompt titled: Sunset White Branches.
Below is my 100-word story titled:
*** THE VIEW ***
This is the view from my bedroom window. It never changes. As seasons unfold, it remains the same; cold, unfriendly and forlorn. Ancient branches too brittle and barren to sprout new life. A landscape as depressing as the rundown shack I live in. But I'm alive. I'm young. I'm hopeful. I refuse to give in to this prison of shame and poverty. I sit cross-legged on the frigid, linoleum floor, bony, scabby elbows perched on the windowsill and dream. I imagine all the beautiful things that lie beyond that range. Things with color, music and light to free me from this depressing view and ugly existence.
That was a brilliant take on the prompt; I honestly loved it.
ReplyDeletehttp://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/friday-fictioneers-lost-sun/
Thank you Littlewonder2.
DeleteBrilliant story; great take on the prompt. Most of all, I love the feeling at the end of the story.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the story you left on my story... I think you might have commented on the wrong one. It sounded like you were referring to Lost Sun, which is here: http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/friday-fictioneers-lost-sun/
You commented on Burning Light. An understandable confusion, at least. Just thought you might like to know.
Oops. Sorry. Will go back and correct it. Tks for pointing it out.
DeleteLora, I always love a story that ends with triumph over tragic circumstances--even if it's only a vision of the hope. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteMine: www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
Thank you Palooski.
DeleteWonderfully written, sad but with the glimmer of hope and survival. I wonder what kind of prison this person is in...
ReplyDeleteHi Emma...she lives in the prison of shame and poverty.
DeleteInteresting piece. I am hearing the voice of an adolescent; full of hope and optimism. :-)
ReplyDeleteHere is my contribution to the prompt:
http://366degree.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/back-to-nature/
Have a great weekend! Cheers!
Hi Irene: Tks for visiting. I will get to yours as I go down the list. It gets longer every week.
DeleteI like the reality in this piece. It feels so real, so truthful, I connect to the sentiments being expressed, and I am there. Thanks for inviting me to read your work. A great experience.
ReplyDeleteHi...thank you for your lovely comments.
DeleteI love the line, "I sit on the floor, bony elbows on the window sill, and dream." Evocative. Go with that line! What is she dreaming? Mine's: http://furiousfictions.com
ReplyDeleteHi Joe: Tks for commenting. When you get a chance...re-read it. Her dreams are in the text. Will get to yours eventually...long list this week.
DeleteWow, I've been there, sitting at the windowsill and dreaming. Nicely done, Lora. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Siobhan. I like that. It means you can relate to her yearning.
DeleteA grim view of the world, but with the hope of imagination.
ReplyDeletehttp://writetuit.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/flash-friday-kill-shot/
Thank you Judee. In time, her imagination becomes reality.
DeletePowerful emotive writing
ReplyDeleteThank you Wakefield.
DeleteAs bleak as the photo prompt. I was sad, but hopeful she may yet hear color and music.
ReplyDeleteHi Ted: She eventually escapes and sees all the beautiful things she prayed for while sitting at that window...colors, music, dance, light, peace, joy and much more.
DeleteDear Lora,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you acknowledged the bleak aspect of the photo prompt, yet slowly built your protagonist's resolve until both the reader and she were carried beyond the present gloom and into a bright future. This story was full of heart and hope and I'm glad to have read it well after most of the rest. In a screenplay the term would be 'Beat' a a perfect pause before the delivery of a line. Form me the beat was right on cue and your story the perfect complement to it.
Thank you for the detailed comment you left on my site for Answers. I really appreciate the insight to your thoughts as you read the story. That you took the time to recall your observations and feeling is something that will stick with me about you.
Mahalo nui loa.
Yours,
Doug
Dear Doug: Your beautiful comments touch the depths of my soul and circles my heart with the warmest of hugs. Thank you.
DeleteLora! I am here for the first time and i admire your unique voice...so real and involving...i could see you hope and worries without being fussy or judgemental. Great work here!
ReplyDeleteHi See.Williams: Welcome to my Blog for the first time and thank you for your comments. I hope you continue to visit and continue to write your wonderful stories for Madison wood's FridayFictioneers.
ReplyDeleteI love the resilience in this story!
ReplyDeleteI would say this is one of the finest entries this week!
I fell in love with it instantly!
Here's mine- http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/reflections/
Hi Parul: Awww...how sweet. Thank you for your lovely comments. I'm on my way to read yours.
ReplyDeleteI loved this, Lora. I think it is your best yet. I could envision her bony, scabby elbows propped up on the windowsill dreaming of a better life. Well done.
ReplyDeleteMine is http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com (as you already know)
Hi Beth: Thank you for your lovely comments. I loved your witty story about the Girl Scout Cookies.
DeleteI like the way you didn't let depression get you down. How no matter how bad the situation, you could still dream. Dreams are what keeps us going.
ReplyDeleteHi Ruth: I agree. We would not be writers without our dreams. Where is your story?
DeleteThis was a great piece. Depressing, yet hopeful. And, that hope is what propels people out of poverty...
ReplyDelete~Susan
Hi Susan: You are so right...it's hope that propels people out of poverty.
DeleteReally nice, wistful, yearning. Extremely well done.
ReplyDeleteTHank you Sandra.
DeleteInteresting. I felt her depression, as well as her hope of someday leaving it all behind. Sure hope she makes it.
ReplyDeleteHi Shirley: Thanks for your comments. And yes...she makes it.
DeleteI like how we go from the depressing imagery to the relentlessly hopeful views of the narrator. A nice take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteThank you BlueFury. Where is your story?
DeleteBefore anything else, there has to be a dream. You led us from sadness and depression to a hope for the future. Well written.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wonderful comment on mine. A humorist can have no greater compliment than what you wrote. My head is still swollen!
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Hi Russell: Thank you for this. You're right. Where would we be without our dreams? Also, I went back to re-read yours and had the same reaction. I adore your humor. Looking forward to more.
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful. I know this child well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Quill. Nice to know you identified with this child.
ReplyDeleteIt's Annie!! I don't know if other people said that because I haven't read other comments, but I love the characterization and sense of longing and optimism. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteHi Lime: How interesting. You're the first and only to see her as Annie, including me. lol.
ReplyDelete