Once again, here is MadisonWoods FridayFictioneers clever photo prompt titled: BLIMP (6/08/12).
Below is my 100-word story inspired by the above photo.
*** BLIMP ***
She was lost. Mentally and emotionally, with a closed, muddled, solitary mind. Modern drugs added to her isolation. For relief from her self-imposed prison, she sought professional help.
He was a tall, unattractive, pipe-holder. Since her instincts never failed, her inner voice whispered not to flee. On the third visit, moving from chair to couch, she felt uneasy with him sitting behind her.
"Give me your hand," he said, softly. "Trust me."
Placing her hesitant, trembling palm into his gentle hand, with tears welling, she saw the blimp sailing peacefully in the serene, iris-blue sky. As it floated by his hi-rise office window, she relaxed and felt safe.
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ReplyDeleteYou captured the mind of an emotionally confused woman. I wonder it might have been stronger if you'd opened with a different line and shown us her confusion in the body of the story. Other than that, good job. Glad you're back this week, Lora.
ReplyDeleteHi Rochelle: Thanks for visiting. I had a few diff. openings..but settled for what I thought captured her dilemma best.
DeleteAnd indeed I related to her confusion. I believe I've sat in that chair on numerous occasions but without the blimp outside the window. ;)
DeleteHello again Rochelle: If you've sat in that chair as well, then my story must resonate with you. From my hi-rise (46th floor) window in NYC, blimps float by often (including Goodyear & MetLife. Believe it of not, they are pleasant and soothing to watch.
DeleteRochelle: Tks for the critique. I went back and made a few minor edits.
DeleteA beautiful take on the prompt. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/fridayfictioneers-emily/
ReplyDeleteHi..thanks for stopping by. On my way to yours soon.
DeleteI can see how the soothing distraction against that incredible blue sky would foster calm. You caught the nervous tension very nicely.
ReplyDeletemine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
Thank you Palooski. She needed that distraction to take the focus off herself and her problems.
DeleteInteresting way to integrate the prompt into the story. I am glad she found way to relax and get help. I felt her barriers go down reading the last line.
ReplyDeletehttp://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/flash-friday-fiction-4/
HI Erin: Glad you felt her defenses/barriers relax after seeing the serenity of the floating blimp. That was my intention.
DeleteInteresting take on the photo prompt.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/08/radiant-flight/
Thank you, Logo. On my way to yours.
DeleteI could picture the blimp sailing past the window, too. It felt serene and surreal. Interesting story, Lora!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Madison.
ReplyDeleteThat is a lovely interpretation if the picture, which does manifest serenity. Very few people exploited that facet, but you did very nicely.
ReplyDeleteDear Carlos: Thank you for visiting. I look forward to your weekly (unique) stories and your touching comments to mine. See you next week.
Deletefrom confusion & mistrust to trust & relaxation as personified in a blimp floating gracefully across the iris-blue sky ... nice tale and transition; thanks for visiting and commenting on my story, which others might find at http://scottcheck.blogspot.com/2012/06/heist.html
ReplyDeleteHi Scott: Yes, that's exactly what I hoped to convey. Thanks for taking the time to visit.
DeleteThe language was beautiful, and for me captured that place where someone could tip either way. It was a relief she tipped towards a safe place. Thanks so much for stopping by earlier!
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/on-the-bright-side/
Hi Kathy: True. I'm sure we've all seen what happens when someone tips the other way. She was deeply troubled but fortunately, had survival instincts.
DeleteHi Lora,
ReplyDeleteVery creative and you to make the blimp into a powerful symbol in an interesting story of personal challenge. Good work! Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.
Hi Bridges: Thank you for your touching comments. I had several blimp story ideas but decided to listen to my Muse and follow her lead. See you next week.
DeleteLovely symbolism! And blimps are soothing to watch, somehow.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment on my story - http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/friday-fictioneers-the-view-from-2112/.
Hi Pillow: I see blimps (including Goodrich) float by my NYC hi-rise window often and I find them very soothing to watch. I even wave to them. Thanks for visiting.
DeleteIf only life were that kind... to find real safety in a shrinks office... if only we could give ourselves over like that and sail away in an iris blue sky...
ReplyDeleteInteresting use of that ole Blimp!
Laura
Thank you for your comments on my story.
and for those who haven't been by yet:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
Hi Linda: Thanks for visiting. From personal experience, I can vouch that there can be real safety in a shrink's office.
Delete'He was a tall, unattractive, pipe-holder.' I like that discription.
ReplyDeletehttp://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/flash-fiction-friday-the-gospel/
Hi Bradley: In this modern age, few men are pipe-smokers, so I made him a pipe-holder. Thank for visiting. I'm on my way to yours.
DeleteIt's odd how pipe smokers project this aura of competence and trust, while cigarette smokers project the opposite. Maybe that's a holdover from the old British class system.
ReplyDeleteI won't go into details, but this entry resonates with me. Excellently portrayed.
Here's my entry:
http://themasterofhisdomain.com/2012/06/09/no-more-shop-talk-100-word-flash-fiction-comic/
Dear Jake: True...there's a mysterious, upper-class aura that surrounds pipe smokers. Unlike cigarette & cigar smokers. The only cigar smoker I ever admired was Winston Churchill. pleased to read my story resonated with you. I'm on my way to yours.
DeleteI loved the way you used the prompt as an emblem of serenity. The description of the psychiatrist was wonderful. I could just hearing asking question about her childhood and saying, "Uh-huh or Hmmm."
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting mine. Here's the link for others
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Dear Russell: Thank you for taking the time to stop by. Looking forward to next week and another witty one from you.
ReplyDelete