FIVE SENTENCE FICTION
www.lilliemcferrin.blogspot.com 6/30/12
Lillie's Word Prompt: HARVEST
She sways back and forth on the porch swing and keenly watches as the rusty, yellow school bus unloads forty-five handsome, bronzed, husky teenage boys and men. Recruited every year from the LeHigh Valley, Pennsylvania coal mines, these young hunks are driven upstate New York to harvest her father's vast soy fields and apple orchard. Her heart pounds hard and skips beats until the last one steps down. Once again, he does not appear. It's now three years since he's seen his son.
I love the imagery you've injected into this piece, and the pointless urgency as she waits to see her son, so sad and poignant.
ReplyDeleteHi Lisa: I think you read the last few sentences incorrectly. She waits for him to arrive from the PA coal mines to work once again on her father's harvest...however...Once again, he does not appear. It's now three years since HE'S SEEN HIS SON.
ReplyDeleteOops, My error in writing the comment! I got that He hadn't seen his son, and I meant to write 'the pointless urgency as she waits to see his son'...I was thinking about her reactions too. (Sorry!)
DeleteI didn't expect that ending... my mind went in another direction, and then... you "pulled the rug from under my feet"...
ReplyDeleteHi MIchelle: Hope you didn't hurt yourself when I "pulled the rug from under your feet"...lol. Tks for visiting.
DeleteI didn't except the ending but I did enjoy it. Very emotional!
ReplyDeleteHi R.J. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
DeleteGreat ending, though painful. I like the way your words effortlessly pulled me along.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thejadedlens.com
Hi Britton: Thank you for stopping by.
ReplyDelete